2 months

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post - you're all so nice and I appreciated all of your comments!

I swear not every post will be about Holland, but here's another.

I've been struggling with wanting to put up my "Fall" decorations.  I usually put them up about Sept. 15th.  A lot of people have been talking about Fall - pumpkin everything, colder weather, etc.  For me it almost feels like having to say goodbye again, because it was summer when Holland was still alive, so moving on to Fall feels like leaving her behind.  But, Mother Nature keeps things going and with the colder temperatures and leaves changing colors, I can't deny that the seasons have changed.  So I did it - I put up the decorations.

Today marks 2 months since she died.  That's crazy.  I miss her physical presence, but I know she's still with us and still part of our family.  Every time I have a sad moment and think, "This sucks.  I miss you so much, Holland" - immediately a voice comes to my head (not her voice, but it's like she's talking to me through the Holy Ghost) saying "I know. But you'll be ok."  And I am ok.  I still miss giving her hugs and hearing her talk, but I can't change it.  I can't bring her back.  But I'm ok.


She seriously loved everything about life.  And she loved ice cream, especially in a cone :)